We begin again as always, centered in the truth that we are Living Expressions of the Conscious Intelligence that created everything seen and unseen in the Universe. Our personal power is permanently and unconditionally sourced in this Living Intelligence. This is our starting point, always.
I was raised with the judgement that projection was a dirty word. As if being caught “projecting” was akin to being caught stealing or lying intentionally. It took me a while to take the sting off of it and realize what a natural and important process projection is!
First, it is not something that is done intentionally, like washing your face or getting dressed. Projection is an awareness stimulant and a realization agent – a part of our overall design that both protects us from overwhelm even as it pushes us to open further.
The fact is that we’re not wholly conscious or completely awake. We’re a mix of both. Without even noticing (until we do) we slide in and out of greater and lesser degrees of conscious awareness hundreds of times a day, all day long, 24/7/365. Why? Because our attention is split between our inner perceptions and self-talk and our external relationships and actions.
We are given precious little guidance on how to manage our own complexities, so it is a good thing to have, this ability to project the next thing we need to realize so that we can encounter, recognize, claim it as our own and decide how to use it.
This most useful rule, once again is: ANYTHING to which you have an immediate and intense response of ANY emotional flavor, contains a projection.
The best thing to do when you realize you’re projecting something on to a person or situation, is to stop. Stop talking, stop focusing outwardly and set the issue aside until you can have a quiet sit down with yourSelf, and then do that as soon as you can.
Working through a projection is, well, work. There’ll be thoughts and feeling to process, they’ll be tangled and overwhelming to sort out, so here’s an exercise my cohorts and I have found very useful:
Give full vent to your projection. For instance, perhaps you are furious with someone over something they did or didn’t do, or perhaps you are completely infatuated with some quality in another. Write it ALL down as a list and DO NOT mince words or pull punches. “you did this, you’re a that…” exhaust yourSelf getting every detail out and down on paper.
Next, get a new sheet of paper and take every “you” statement you just made and write it as an “I” statement. This exercise will be deeply unsettling and begin an organic inward sort-out. When your “I” list is complete, take a short break, eat something, bathe, go for a walk, talk to a friend about something else entirely (NOT this exercise)… just release the whole exercises completely as you can for a short while (hours, not days).
When you return to your 2 lists, take your first one and holding the person or situation in your mind, thank them/it for helping you see these missing pieces of yourSelf. Bless them for the role they have played in your growth and release them from this role with your love and gratitude. Then, destroy their list.
All that remains is for you to work through your list one point at a time, making a fresh decision about the qualities at issue in each one. It’s very calming.
Often this process results in stunning outward changes, a kind of equalizing effect that results when highly charged situations lose their charge and “become” just what they are… People that used to annoy you, don’t or just seem to disappear. Infatuations reframe when you realize “I am that” and you are gifted with a new person or situation to get to know afresh…
As we become more, (to our own self-perception), we become more in sync with our true natures and much more patient with our fellows and friends. For, in addition to feeling very different about yourSelf, you will hear others differently as well. You will begin to hear what they are telling you about their own thoughts and feelings as you listen to them talk about others or complain to you about you… Those recognitions can gift you with a whole new level of empathy, compassion and understanding for yourSelf and others.
Using projections for their pivot potential is a very powerful practice!